sponge brain

I have been wanting to blog for a while but my brain has and still does feel like a sponge soaked through with heavy whipping cream. So i am just going to blog anyway. I have been going through a lot of change lately as to how I see myself. I am not some ogre stomping around on beautiful wild flowers. I am a beautiful wild flower. I am learning that I can wear my nice clothes and they won't get ruined. That maybe I can build fires in my wood stove and I won't use up all our wood or speed up global warming. I can have joy without fearing what's around the corner. My life has been a lot of floating around in the abyss sightseeing foggy vagueness. I want my life to be kids flying kites , juicy pears, giggles and birds in flight. I want to wake up early because I know that the day is pregnant. I want the key to experiencing what the day gives birth to. I want to know how to explore and find hidden beauties. Fear is disintegrating into puddles around me and now I just need to learn how to step past the puddles without my socks getting wet.